Artwork – Cathryn Lloyd
It’s the mid-2000s, and I’m at the Banff Centre, nestled in the breathtaking Canadian Rockies. After presenting at the Art of Management and Organisation Conference, I’d decided to extend my stay for a holiday and participate in a creative leadership programme, focused on art and landscape and designed to challenge.
We ventured outdoors for one of the leadership challenges. I was super keen to get into the incredible landscape. We followed our facilitator to our destination, where we stopped and looked up. Suspended above us among the trees were high ropes – oh no.
I felt the resistance. I’m not a huge fan of heights. I’ve experienced vertigo, and if you’ve ever had it, you’ll know it’s not just dizziness, it’s complete disorientation. Crikey, how do I get myself out of this? I could feign illness – or just opt out.
Then came another challenge. We wouldn’t be crossing the ropes alone. We’d be paired with one of our cohort, navigating the parallel ropes from opposite sides—more pressure. We’re given the motivational talk, the health and safety spiel, and harnessed up. My anxiety heightened – on one hand, maybe being up there with someone else would help, but on the other hand, I thought, how do I support someone else when I am already so outside my comfort zone?
Naturally, some people couldn’t wait to get up there. I watched their enthusiasm with great admiration as they took off and soared high. I watched as some pairs were nearly horizontal to each other, knowing that wasn’t on my agenda. I held back for as long as possible until finally it was my – our turn. We made our way up and positioned ourselves as instructed. From either side of the ropes, we had to lean into each other, arms outstretched, hands pressing, bodies counterweighted to balance ourselves as we made our way across the tight rope.
Halfway across, I started to feel unsafe. I needed a moment to regroup and gather my thoughts. I wondered if she felt the same.
I called down to the facilitator: “I need to pause.”
“What do you need to do?” he asked.
My legs were trembling, and I looked back at my partner and said, “I need to sit down. Can we find a way to squat down on the ropes together?” Slowly, arms outstretched and hands touching, we lowered ourselves into a crouching position on the ropes. I don’t know how long we were there, two or three minutes, but it was enough to ground myself in that moment.
I knew I needed physical input from my partner to continue, but I wasn’t sure how to say it. I asked, “I need you to be stronger and push back a bit more, is this possible? She said she could, we smiled at each other, took a breath, and began making our way back to standing. I immediately felt the difference in our connection, both physically and mentally. To my surprise, we were greeted with applause when we made it to the other side.
When we arrived back on Earth, the facilitator came over and gave us both a hug, saying, “I’ve never seen anyone do that before.”
The mid-air crisis became quite a talking point. It sparked conversations about communication, how we ask for what we need, how we support others, how we support ourselves, recognising that one person’s challenge is not necessarily another’s, how not to judge ourselves and others, and how empathy, kindness, and compassion can be the greatest gift we can give each other in challenging situations.
While the experience took me right outside my comfort zone and I continue to have reservations around heights, I realise how powerful that experience and that pause were. I often think about this time because it was a lesson in not allowing myself to be swept away by overwhelm and fear, but in valuing the self-awareness that allowed me to pause, regain my composure, and trust myself in an unusual situation.
Here’s your high ropes reflective pause moment.
- Where in your life or work do you need support? And how do you support others?
- What helps you regain stability, composure and confidence when the ground beneath feels unstable?
- Where do you need to lean in rather than pull away?
Is it time to pause? Take a precious moment to check in and explore what you need? Is there something you’d like to get a new perspective on? If so, I’d love to offer you a complimentary 45-minute coaching conversation. Drop me a message.